Face Up To It

WHAT YOUR FACE IS SAYING

The face is our advertising, sales and marketing billboard – promoting us to the outside world. Personality type and an individual's intentions, are said to show in subtle ways in our faces – something we have been hard-wired to pick up on. So what is your face saying?

People are quick to make snap decisions about strangers. They will read your body language, appearance and facial features, for any signs that could give away your intentions. If you have a scowl or shifty eyes, they may take you as an unfriendly and potentially threatening person. On the other hand, bright, open eyes and a welcoming smile, will lift a face to make your appearance all the more attractive and approachable. 

Your face can be changed in a number of significant ways. Make up, facial hair, piercings and tattoos, are the obvious ways we can control appearance. While these modifications can help to get us noticed more, the greatest changes to how we are perceived, come from how we portray ourselves through expression – and this will be determined by how you feel inside.

Confidence is arguably, the greatest attribute to bring success into our lives. Having strong self belief and a conviction that you really have what it takes to get the results, can create situations where there's an almost foregone conclusion. Feel it and you will express it.

Working With What We've Got

Although face reading has been mostly debunked as a pseudoscience, more recent studies into facial features that could potentially give away personality and health secrets, have shown we do tend to make quite accurate judgements about dominance and actively seek out facial clues for trust ability. It's true that universal facial expressions can help us to understand how people are feeling, but the jury is out on the claim that facial features can accurately show the type of person we are inside. Our generics certainly play a role in how our faces look, experiences will largely determine our preferences but ultimately, our attitudes and lifestyles will be what creates the expressions necessary to convey our inner identity.

Sometimes, our inner thoughts can affect the way we are perceived to such a degree, that other people will have instinctively made up their minds about us. This can attract or repel people from our lives. Think back to the times you've felt angry – things likely didn't go well for you that day, as people avoided you or were less inclined to help out. Now think back to a time you were really happy – when the air smelt sweet and colours seemed more vivid - a time when life felt so good. Very likely, good things happened and other people gravitated towards you.

There have been a number of instances where I have observed the differences in other people's interactions with me - obviously reflected by my inner feelings. On occasion, I have even witnessed a complete reversal in my fortunes and changes in the ways people interacted with me - purely by my making a conscious change to my mood, attitude and actions, in order to portray more positive, outward projections. Surely, much of this expression from my inner feelings would have been picked up in my face?

And so it follows - the best way to gain another's attention, willingness to help or attraction - is to feel how you want them to see you: happy, self confident and open to the joys of life.

Mindlessness

LIFE: THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT

With so many people using smartphones these days, it seems our minds are increasingly taking a back seat from taking on previously human-powered tasks. From simple things like finding our way home, reminding us of important dates ie. our loved ones' birthdays or remembering a friend's phone number - even everyday memory feats such as keeping a basic to-do or shopping list of items which could be counted on one hand, are now typed into a smartphone app. Consequently, we are becoming ever more reliant on our pocket computers to make our lives better/easier, that we are neglecting the super computer powers of our perfectly capable biological equipment.

Human 2.0
It could be said that we're in an evolutionary period of growth - one where the basic human being is getting an upgrade through the soft/hardware of our pocket computers and via an always-on connectivity to the information on the internet. Studies performed on high-level internet users, have initially shown through brain MRI scanning, that pre-frontal activity is enhanced through browsing after a short period of a week, with just one hour of browsing per day. But on further investigations, findings have concluded that the cognitive overload on someone flitting around on the net, can impair memory function, which over time, affects one's ability to focus on a subject or task for sustained lengths of time for little longer than a goldfish does. It seems the capacity for learning, hasn't evolved as fast as our broadband speeds have done. So we're outsourcing memory function to our smart devices rather than patiently working towards improving the upgradable hardware we've been born with.

Virtual Life Coaching

Just a short while back - maybe less than 15 years in the past, we would have written a list of our goals down on a sheet of paper. We'd keep a regular check on our progress and take incremental steps to get what we desired from life - crossing off, adding and deleting as we progressed through the list. Many of these goals would have been confined to memory. It's been shown that visualisation is a great tool for bringing goals to life, and so the focus would have helped to achieve them. Potentially, due to our sheltered existence, a lot of these goals would have been simple and therefore very achievable. When connection speeds improved about 10 years ago and as more people gained access to the Internet, we started to see more of the world and what could be achieved in a lifetime. Our horizons widened. Suddenly, life coaches and success advisers, once solely the provisos to the success-hungry, power elite, sprouted up - advertising their success strategies to the everyman. Consequently, as the confines to goals opened us up to a wealth of possibilities way beyond our back yards, we began paying someone else to keep a check on our progress and to press us to meet the greater goals we'd been helped to forge out. 

Moving on to the present day - even motivational experts like our fitness/wellbeing personal trainers, who up until just recently, were a highly-regarded motivational tool for pushing us in the gym - are being replaced by smartphone apps more and more. It seems that humankind's willpower, memory capacity and our ability to use this superior brain power, are now becoming so weakened, that we are all-too-readily believing it's necessary to get an app for everything running our lives rather than apply ourselves more to take control. 

Return Of The Mindfulness Mind 

If the perceived (failed) human evolution to 2.0 is anything to go by, it feels to me like a revolution in mindfulness is just around the corner. Because we are on the verge of becoming mindless fools if we allow our computers to do all the work. Sure, computers can be useful, but it's no wonder there's been a bit of a break-away by a few key people, who are now removing all their technology, previously used as a brain replacement. Instead, they are strengthening their minds through focused meditation, the practise of mindfulness and purely by not instinctively reaching for the iPhone, without first thinking for themselves. In the process, they are also enhancing their social lives and experiencing quiet, reflective and creative moments once again - free from distractions.

Record - Not Fade Away

If, like me, you really want to take some control back over your life, then recording your movements is the best way. Use a smart phone to do this if you wish, but a good old fashioned pen/pencil and paper works a treat for keeping a diary - plus it's less distracting, not reliant on batteries and there's better memory retention when you physically write stuff down on paper.

An Example In Memory And Control 

I'll use myself as an example for how to better remember your days, keep tabs on having more positive outcomes and avoid the many traps of self-deceit. First of all, we need to make some plans of what we wish to achieve. So following on from this point, here's what I'm currently monitoring:

Health, Wealth & Happiness
Number one priority on everyone's list, should be health. Without it, we have no happiness or enriched life. 

I have gained a bit of weight and become a bit flabby in places over the summer. I also have a shoulder injury from snowboarding that I got back in March this year. So I have set a goal for losing some weight and through my Personal Training qualification, I now have a better idea which exercises I need to do for attaining muscle tone/size/strength plus help repair my injuries.

Next steps: I have set some dates/times I can realistically commit to. I have signed-up to a gym, plus I have some daily home exercises and rules set in place to encourage more healthy lifestyle habits.

Nutrition is key for health and a major factor when an increase in performance is required playing a sport/engaging in an energetic pursuit or working out in the gym. The right fuel is essential for obtaining optimum muscle growth and repair. So it follows, that in order to learn more about what best fuel to take in and how many calories to have daily, both at rest and when exercising, we need to plan our meals. I write down everything that goes into my mouth - referencing/researching nutritional benefits and adjusting what I take in to stay within my daily quota. I keep tabs throughout the day. This helps me to avoid snacking and ensures there's no cheating myself. The calories are tallied up for whatever I eat/drink and I make adjustments/allowances for any extra calories burned off above and beyond those burned in a sedentary hour.

Your stationary hourly burn rate depends on a number of factors, but calories used up can be roughly estimated - as can calories consumed in your gym exercises. Work within these approx calorie figures and your weight readings after a week, clothes and mirror, will all start to give you clues as to how well you're doing with the calorie counting. I've taken a picture of myself at the start of this current exercise/physical improvement program as an additional reminder of where I started. Taking pictures of each meal, will also help to determine portion sizes and also remind us of often missed calorific additives like condiments, rich sauces, gravy, bread and butter etc.

Wealth Retention

Wealth is not all about money, but having more of it, means we can have better life experiences. So spending less is an easy way to become more financially wealthy. 

I start off by removing the credit cards from the wallet and setting aside some cash for the week. I then set a tight budget for the main monthly spends. I use an app for this one, because it saves time and is easier to track at a glance. Write down EVERYTHING that money is spent on. Prioritise the essentials in the budget - things like travel, accommodation and food. Everything else could likely be removed or moderated in some way. 

Once you start writing daily spends into the budgeting app, the costs of things will start to register more and their value will come into question. It's pretty simple to save - we just have to stop spending on the things we can do without. Obviously, we need to hydrate and take on fuel to survive but there's easy savings to be made with what we consume. Eating out is expensive compared to eating in - plus it's harder to accurately measure the nutritional content unless you make meals yourself. An easy saving per month is to buy food for lunches, to take them in to eat whilst at work. To save time, I prepare simple lunches simultaneously whilst making the evening meal, so I'm not 'eating' into my evenings - that way it's cost-effective as well as convenient.

Uppers
Caffeine addict? The cost of buying hot drinks is high and the addiction is more likely about the actual process of purchasing drinks in a fancy coffee/tea shop than it is for the coffee. Forget getting a 'special' cup with your name on it - buy the premium coffee if that's your thing and make your own hot drinks or try swapping them out for tap/filtered water. Or else, try alternative beverages. Hot water with lemon and honey/organic maple syrup is a good example and you may find yourself sleeping better as a result. 

Another impulse purchase (especially in the queue of a coffee shop), is on snacking. Simply stop buying snacks. They can easily add up to 500 additional calories per day and are often overlooked or forgotten foods when dieting. They are also either high in sugar or rich in saturated fats.

Downers
'Need' to let the hair down with a drink just to relax? Break the alcohol habit and meditate for 5-6 minutes when you get home, instead of glugging a glass of wine. For social engagements, give up alcohol altogether for 6 days a week. Alcohol, which is high in (empty) calories, plus expensive when bought out, can break the resolve, making us less able to resist unhealthy lifestyle choices. If alcohol is too difficult to give up, take a drink at home but pick the best ones to help with keeping a slim waistline and remember to include their calories in the food diary. Once you educate yourself about how many calories a particular drink contains, you'll soon realise where the main calories are being consumed on top of the daily food calorie limits and if the cost savings don't help, your realisation of high calorie content, may help you limit consumption levels at least.

The spends/budget diary, food diary and exercise diary - all combined, will help to keep life in the balance. But to be happy, we have to keep a tab on how we feel too. A good way to do this is to write a mood diary or make an addition into a general daily diary. Write down what thoughts or feelings come to you, immediately after you have them, to find out more about what triggers negative emotions or moods.

Realising Happiness
We have to plan for happiness. The best way to start is by realising the love, luck and life you have, is already full of happiness. Appreciate what you have. 

My gratitude realisation starts with my waking moment and ends with an appreciation thought before I sleep. I write a daily diary of my everyday events. I include the mundane, the important tasks and any reflections on mood. I then assess the reasons why the day may not have gone to plan and make an additional note to remind myself for any future learnings.

Preparation for the Day: Here's a classic example of my thinking and actions taken after I wake.

Taking deep breathes to fill my body with fresh oxygen, I run through a 20 second mental check-list of what I want to achieve that day, citing any potential issues that could throw me off track. My typical morning's to-do list is:
– Drink a glass of chilled water
– Get a bag of gym stuff together
– Take my lunch out of the fridge
– 10 minutes of light exercise: Qi Gong, followed by 3x planks plus a couple of yoga stretches.
– Gather Keys, Wallet, phone and earphones

– Line up my listening and reading material for my day

Before I leave, I think about the day's work & personal objectives:
– I will be working with someone I know to be a difficult character
– Travelling on a packed tube train, so be aware of other people's stress
– Will need to complete today's work tasks within a tight deadline
– Need to call my accountant
– Got to arrange a lunch booking
– Have to leave work 10 minutes earlier, so be nice to the boss

Get Ahead Of Yourself
I am organised and ready in minutes. I'm refreshed, awake without caffeine, have plenty of time to get to work and I have already made allowances for any potential issues dealing with the grumpy, tired & rushed public. I make a note to show willingness to the person I'm helping this morning so I can get away 10 minutes early. Whilst on the train, I will update my food/daily diary plus set reminders for people I need to call and tasks I need to complete for myself. I update my blog and practise my daily Spanish, before listening to an audio book sat at my desk - the first person in the office. 

I'm happy because I've been in control of my day. I'm also happy because I've not been caught out by another person's stress. Mood is affected by a multitude of factors like what we eat, how much sleep we have, who we have to deal with and how we relate to their needs and other environmental stressors. Get these bits right and we're on our way to a positive day.

By getting ahead of ourselves, we can tune out the things we already know about. Work can be dull, people can be difficult and life can be rushed = bad mood. But if we harden ourselves with some tough tasks (planks), make allowances for other people's behaviour (mentally prepare for the packed tube ride) and negotiate our requirements from an advantageous viewpoint (Get in early and confront the boss), we can have success = good mood.

Know Yourself
Food, mood, finance, goals and experiences. Keep track of all these things throughout the day. Monitoring these factors will teach us something about ourselves and help to gain more control over our lives - to ultimately bring about more success in everything we do. Nobody else can manage our lives better than we can - although some people will try to take control. BUT, we can't allow packaging/advertising/marketing claims to sway us, other people to make decisions for us and we needn't rely on a computer to teach us how to really live.

Summer's Setting

BANK HOLIDAY BLOW OUT

The summer has nearly come to a close. There's been some hard partying for more but It's been even more concentrated in this whirlwind month of August because of my girlfriend's 40th birthday. We've been celebrating for 4-6 weeks at least. Making the most of the sunshine and our longer days for socialising, has meant there's been little regular exercise, no budgeting and not enough focus on learning or bettering myself. 

Keeping Track

Thankfully, I put a lot of hard work doing a yoga session every day for 4-6 weeks prior to this excessive period - preparing myself in the run up to the big 40th birthday. It's kept me going where so many would have gotten Ill. 

My best trick for keeping on top of things, has been the daily diary. Not only has it helped me take daily assessments, but it's also helped me remember my movements on a daily basis too. This has been very handy for remembering those potentially lost nights! So, last week, I returned from my holiday in Spain and discovered that I'd put on over 3kg (6-7lbs). This whole week, I've been watching my intake by writing down everything that enters my mouth and working out the calories consumed per day. My daily diary and weekly blog posts that I've been doing since the 1st Jan 2015, coupled with the daily food/drink calorie watch, have really helped me stay balanced. Under the circumstances, that's quite an achievement. Something so simple, yet effective, has meant that I could get through a period of craziness and come out the other end being perfectly ok. 

Closing Party

In a way, I'm glad to see all the leaves turning brown and the party season coming to a close once again. I am looking forwards to my return to mindful mornings of learning, exercising and improving my physical & mental wellbeing. I have some commitments that need to be met - my daily exercise routine plus a consistent study of languages, understanding body & mind, now needs to get underway. The next few months should see a return to form, especially now the other temptations are removed from my life. Summer - it's been fun, but I'm moving on to an early Autumn, thanks very much!

Holiday From A Holiday

THE GETAWAY

The holiday getaway - perfect for recharging the batteries - just as a true holiday should be. But for me somehow, it always seems to be the opposite. Rest and recuperation are what is needed after this current Spanish adventure. 

When we have a routine to follow, we tend to fit in our r&r around the busy schedule of work commitments. So, we make the necessary allowances for keeping the fun/work balance in check. 

Having time carefully measured out between the essentials of working, exercising and having fun, plus being watchful of the money through mindful budgeting and cost saving decisions, means the time is well spent keeping a good balance in life and the bank account too. There's not too much excess because work needs to get done and there's budgets for food in the week, plus better choices made for taking in the right food at home, work and for exercising. But when we go on holiday, with so much time on our hands, plus the restraints removed for getting ourselves up and into work, it means the balance is completely thrown off. Over-indulgence of alcohol, rich food, over spending in flashy restaurants every night and a lot of laying around, are all going to make a significant difference with thinning the wallet and fattening the waistline, And that's why I now need a holiday from the holiday. 

I'm actually looking forward to having a break from fun and focussing more on getting quality sleep, better nutrition, regular workouts and saving money. A boot camp reset to salvage the damage done over the last few months of summer. So big has this summer been, that I'm going to rein in the fun a good three months earlier than I did with starting last year's restraints! 

We all need to be more mindful of our daily actions. That's why recording everything in a blog/diary is so helpful. The first thing will be to catch up on sleep. The second will be to regain the figure. The ultimate goal from September, is to clear up my hefty debts. So in my daily dairy, I'll be noting the non-drinking rule, there'll be a calorie watching food diary plus an exercise routine to-do check list to adhere to - a very conscious recovery update which I'll be including in my weekly posts. 

The Rat Race

CHASING THE WHEEL

The rat race is a tough competition with all the other rats if we really want to get ahead in life.

Just treading the wheel, is hard enough in itself - but to truly succeed, is a lot harder than we maybe realise. Money is required to keep our heads above water. We need it to survive and to enjoy life. Wherever your social standing in life is, money will play a key factor in how fast the hamster wheel is spinning. When there's prosperity, the wheel slows, but in a downturn, money is squeezed from the middle classes as the blue bloods work even harder to retain their wealth - in turn, this forces the lower class workforce into grafting longer hours with even lower wages. The wheel spins faster for every one of the rats. Money becomes harder to make across the board, let alone keep. 

These last 6 years have seen my fortunes decrease and stress levels rise considerably - all in my pursuit of money. Councils, accountants, solicitors, governing institutions like the DVLA and the banks, have all been making significant money from any of my small gains made over this period. Yet, the amount of work, worry and stress from keeping all of these institutions happy, has hardly been worth it for me. I'm just treading water. So, I'm considering giving it all up. Freedom from house and car ownership, means freedom from all the money-draining connections too. Less mail to answer, schemes to join, less taxes to pay, fines and bank interest to let slip through the fingers - and less time used up, sleep lost and stress manifested. All this extra effort chasing the money, has not worked out to be enough of a gain, considering all the extra efforts invested. So, less spends and more free time through removing these extra financial burdens, means less time treading that wheel. There has to be an easier, more carefree way to succeed in life?

I looked into the money less ways of living last year - yet, still not been to see what an off-grid place is/entails, or spent time as a Woofer. This should be something I at least try doing for a weekend - and something I likely need to do on my own.

The Pursuit Of Fun

A QUEST FOR HAPPINESS

Too much of a good thing. Too much of the same thing and too much of doing the same good thing until it affects our ability to work and compromises our health. That's when something once good, ceases to be a good thing any more. 

There's many things that we can do to enjoy ourselves. When we do the same thing too much, it can certainly lose it's appeal but it might also be affecting our wellbeing. Before the monotony indicates where the fun has vanished, the negative effects may already have taken their hold. So, it's likely already time for us to keep a check on these things which we call 'fun' – to see if they really are still fun – then substitute the activities that are possibly having a detrimental effect on our lives, with some new pursuits of happiness. 

Summers are short – particularly in the UK. They are mostly focussed around grabbing some sunshine, meeting with friends and celebrating life. Concerts, festivals, bank holidays and crazy party weekends – these are the focus points regularly featuring in the lives of the young and chased-upon by the those getting older too. 

So, what is it that gives such an appeal to a weekend of abandon – either in a field, club or around a friend's house? I believe it is a right to enjoy our 'freedom', break some taboos and get a little too inebriated or miss out on some sleep over the weekend. Because, for many of us, the only time to fully enjoy ourselves, is on those two days that are remaining after a working week.

So, it's tough to go home early on a Friday night or stay indoors on a Saturday when our friends are going out – or do very little on a Sunday in preparation for another busy week at work, when it's known that the next five days will be mostly work, eat, sleep, repeat. 

What is much tougher, is to swap the drinking/partying lifestyle with other pursuits that make us feel as happy. What is there that's better than getting a little twisted, dancing, meeting new people and from what it feels like at that moment...experiencing happy fun times? It really does feel like the ultimate expression of freedom and the birth-given right for those lucky enough to not be living under oppressive regimes or in dangerous war-torn parts of the world. 

What alternatives are there – so readily available and relatively in-expensive? What can give as much lasting fun, reward and fulfilment? This question, over coming weeks/months, is what I intend to find out – to discover and to break away from the current pattern of abandonment, that becomes our pursuit of happiness in the summer months. 

Weebles Wobble

SELF STABILISING

Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down. That's the marketing statement for this 1970's British toy.

I recall throwing my Weeble Bus in the road, along with it's full load of Weeble passengers, whist having a tantrum at 5 years old. I don't recall the reason for the hissy fit but I remember being very upset at the time - especially after my self-defeating moment of destruction. The bus was in bits, but the Weebles - true to their marketing claim, merely wobbled and lived on to see another day. 

I kind of feel like the Weeble people at the moment - thrown in the road of life - getting bashed around, but still re-righting myself to live another day. Thing is, how many more times can I be thrown (or more likely - throw myself) in the metaphorical road of life, before the self-righting mechanism breaks? There's going to be a limit and I really don't want to approach that limit any time soon through my self-destructive lifestyle. 

Enjoyment of the summer time seems to be the paramount objective for me right now. I'm sure that's the same for most. It's peak season and yet there's not been enough sunshine moments. For one, the sun hasn't been out much here in the UK but also, there's been too much alcohol and late nights to fully take on board the vitamin D from daytime environmental activities, plus too much depletion of the energy levels in general to keep from fully bouncing back up again. 

The seasons mostly determine the activity we do from day to day, what we choose to do at the weekends and keep up doing as a routine over the coming months. 

The winter is mostly becoming a no/low drinking season for me (alpine holiday aside), with the spring a mostly no drinking (Easter and birthday aside), bike riding/general fitness enhancement season. Whereas, the summer has become an endurance test of sleepless weekends, roller-coaster recovery weeks and balancing my sanity when the work responsibilities require much more than a dulled brain power. Autumn as I recall from last year, is a time for recovery and also a battle against the habits that have built up through being repeated throughout the summer months. A tough resolve is required to right the Weeble during this time. Every year seems to be getting tougher and I'm not sure if it's the age difference, the excessive levels reached - or maybe a combination of both. One thing is for sure - in order to keep the Weebles righting themselves, the amount of wobbling needs to be reduced. August will be a big month. An early swan-song for the summer and an even earlier start to the recovery & rejuvenation season starting September.

Ancient Technology

RUNNING WITH A ZIMMER

Technology ages faster than us. Just like cats and dogs, we think of our equipment's lifespan in terms of years whereby, 1 human year is the equivalent of 10 years for something like a smart phone. I left my (still sprightly 30 something year old equivalent) 2013 5s at a friend's house yesterday and am currently tapping out these words on my old 2012 4s. Comparing the phone and features, I can see there's really very little difference in how the other newer phone works. In fact, I kind of like the weight and sturdiness of my older 4s considerably more.

We've become so caught up in the advancement of technology, that we can be suckered into believing something completely adequate for the job, is defunct and useless. We spend the equivalent of a week's luxury holiday on a piece of kit, that if we're completely honest with ourselves, has very little extra to offer from the expensive piece of kit recently marketed out to the knacker's yard - and evidently still capable of doing the job as well.

One thing that I remember at the time of the iPhone 5 launch, was the (slightly) larger screen being touted as a real game winner. And coinciding with the launch of iOS7, rightly optimised for the extra screen space, there were obvious gains to be had upgrading to iOS7 for this 'new' fandango technology. I, on the other hand, chose to jailbreak and add the then missing nifty features to my perfectly functioning iOS 6 4s device. Strange how my phone worked a treat and other 4s user, fed up with their now sluggish iOS7 driven device, gave up with their ancient (6-12 months old) phone to get the benefits of whatever new features the latest version offered - but at the normal speeds experienced by new adopters on the most current model. Apple are pros at marketing. They have done a great job of re-packaging the same thing over and over ever since the iPhone first launched just a short time ago in a little over nine short human years. The new iPhone, due out in just a few weeks time, will be the same phone, badged as being revolutionary, I'm sure.

Don't Believe The Hype
It's not just the phone and computer manufacturers trying to convince the world that they really do need the latest gadget on the market - car companies are constantly trying to reinvent the wheel. Yet, whenever I'm driving my 41 year old Mercedes SL, I can't really see much difference in the ride quality, in fact, I'd say the ride is superior because I can still hear the engine, feel the road and 30 still feels fast to me around town - 70 is exhilarating on the motorway with the roof down. This car is the last of the great cruisers. They don't build them like this any more - otherwise, why buy a new car? So what if I have to wind the window up and down by hand. I already know the fuel economy is low compared to a Prius - that's because I'm driving a V8. Do people really watch that Eco-fuel reading anyway (and weren't the fuel economy results all bogus)? A driver's focus should be on checking the road for hazards. The only other function apart form adjusting the temperature, should be to change the volume on the stereo as far as meddling with in-car entertainment goes. Otherwise, plug in the iPhone 4s to the Aux for some tunes and navigate with it's perfectly functioning SatNav, readily supplied by Google maps, perfectly adequate kit to reach your destination.

The above commercial, with iPads covered in cream leather, the key feature of essentially, the same overly expensive car (with an already outdated bit of kit by the time it was aired), was, incidentally, shot on an iPhone 5s. So there you go - a 30 year old piece of kit (in technology years), really cutting it back then in 2013, to create a pretty slick premium advert.

So, if you believe the kit you have now is becoming a bit slow and out of date - it's because you're being suckered in by the marketing from the technology giants in a very lucrative market - the smart-phone market. With the re-invented wheel, surely comes a (I know it's cynical), built-in obsolescence with the current model. But if my jailbroken 4s can even run Siri (not that I need it anyway), as well as the other gestures for fast app switching shipped with iOS7 and beyond, as well as provide the (now standand) revolutionary features from 2007, like play music and videos - in exactly the same way as the very first iPhone could do, then why do we keep falling for the same tricks? Perhaps it's because technology became so exciting as a way to improve so many already dull lives and supposedly offer us life-enriching possibilities. Or maybe we've become obsessed with stuff we don't really need...

Less Is Most Definitely More
A thousand songs in your pocket? That was the original iPod advertising slogan. And it's so much more now with improved WiFi and 4G streaming options that we're really spoiled for choice. And the same goes for other media content. I have over a thousand books saved on my iPhone 4s. But I only have one set of eyes, so I have to limit the options -  otherwise there's choice overload. So I've narrowed it down to a very generous half a dozen books on my 5s. I like listening to new music - but the value is lost when I'm racing through an artist's blood sweat and tears to get on to the next track, album or genre. Too much choice in my music library is making it harder to choose what I want to listen to. I'm literally getting lost in music! To prevent this, I now aim to listen to an album a few times over - just like I used to. I'm even ditching music from iTunes and the like - because I don't need it. Chances are, I'm never going to listen to it again anyway.

Pay Attention
Attention spans have shortened across the board. We're addicted to the buzz of technology without actually appreciating what it can offer us any more. Look at all the bored couples in restaurants. Nothing to say, but instead, grabbing a smart phone for a fix of anything they can get, rather than make an effort to chat. We need to switch off and tune in a lot more to what's really going on in the real world.

Technology Downtime
When technology works and makes our lives easier- great. But when it's trying to replace jobs that can be done just as well as before - for the sake of it? Switching the lights on with an app. Nah, I'll use my good old fashioned finger, thanks. It's bad enough playing around with a troublesome router when technology fails. My recent time-eating experiences of technology problem-solving, have woken me up to a very clear realisation. Why waste all that time fixing a problem that wasn't there in the first place - especially when the light switch was just a finger-click away? Hence, like many others I know, I'm steadily moving towards a more lo-tech future to realistically make my life easier.

I'm also moving back to a pre-tech social state of being. We all tend to grab our smart phones on auto-pilot these days. Next period of downtime, observe how you go for the phone without even thinking. Because of this mild addiction to technology, the next holiday, I may even leave my phone at home, dig out my Sony Sportsman with maybe 2-3 D60 cassettes with a selection of tunes and pack only two easy-read paperbacks to occupy my mind with. Sure I'll get lost on route without Google maps, but at least the girlfriend and I will be talking again - plus that's another part of the fun we're missing out on by not having a map and navigator in our pockets too - arguments aside, we discover more of the things we didn't know we were looking for.

Wedding Yellows

DRIVER FOR HIRE

I Love a good wedding. So I worked hard all week plus splashed out a fair amount of money purely to get my car ready for the wedding of a couple who I'd never met before.

Organising a wedding is stressful. There's a lot at stake to make sure the day goes well and a lot of people to please. Hence, hiring my car for this event meant I had to step up my efforts to deliver a well presented vehicle that would make not only make the bride and groom happy but be impressive enough to the rest of the wedding party to satisfy everyone that the best efforts had been invested. 

Arguably, I over-delivered on my offering. My time and expenses were high. l should have charged more for the 'just married' number plate. I should have charged for the additional flowers and to make the drive more of an enjoyable experience, I should have included the option for chilled champagne in the price. It's a lesson learned for next time on making the best of my time and offering. 

But I am very pleased that the car made the grade on this occasion and this experience will definitely spur me on to promote the car for future jobs where my impact will be a positive influence in the lives of others on that special occasion.

Life Influence

POSITIVE CONNECTIONS

Attending the funeral of an old family friend this weekend plus seeing a little girl at the beginning of her journey, I'm again reminded of how great life can be, how short it is and how important it is being a positive influence in other people's lives if we are to get the best out of our time here. 

Childhood Influences

John was an abused child. He was treated with cruelty by his parents and lacked the love shown from his family to equip him with a capacity for loving others. His childhood set him up on a path in life. He influenced others in many ways - both good and bad. Failed marriages, relationships and business ventures. But fortunately, he had good people in his life that gave him love and it was through them, that he learned to love. So, from a poor beginning, he eventually had much love in his life - particularly nearing the end. There was a lot of appreciation for John's life and the positive influences he had on others. This fact was evident at John's funeral as we listened to the speeches given to us by close family and friends. 

We are all influenced through our life experiences. But we still have a choice in how we absorb these moments and use the influences to determine our future. Cruelty, hardship and poor parenting can create a cycle of behaviours that pass on down through the generations or we can make a decision to improve our lives through breaking the patterns created through poor influences.

Meeting my girlfriend's sister Vicky and 6 year old daughter Charlotte the day after the funeral, one can clearly see how a family can effect the life of a little girl at an impressionable time in her life. If there is struggle and poor peers around her, there will be higher chances of creating a troubled little girl. But if there are positive people around her and uplifting, happy, carefree moments experienced, then the life of this little girl can be a reflection of the good childhood she's had and not a dysfunctional one. She needn't battle her way through adolescence, make many mistakes in her early adult years only then to discover later in life, what has been holding her back all this time - as perhaps John did towards the later years of his life. She can be helped now and guided on to a happier path. And so it is up to me, as a positive connection - an influence in Charlotte's life, to ensure my moments with her and my connections to the family, are the ones to bring harmony and happiness. We are all connected in many intricate ways. It's up to us to be fully conscious of how the actions and non-actions will influence those around us.

We need to recognise when important moments of trust, respect, solidarity, reliability and courage - enriching actions and defining impressions - are bestowed upon those around us that can, in turn, go on themselves to share their positive influences to create a network of positive connections in the world.

Living Life To The Last Breath

SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD

It's a stark reminder of life but with some down time at work this Friday, I found myself watching a fascinating series of videos about the final stages of life and ultimately - death.

I confess, it's not the most uplifting of subjects for a Friday afternoon, but what these videos did for me was remind me of the inevitable end. Who knows how it will happen or predict when it will come, but come to us all, it certainly will. Time has one direction and our short lives tick away every second. 

Friday came and went in a blur. Last weekend felt like it was just yesterday. Without my daily diary reminders, I wouldn't be able to recall what I did this past week let alone in the past 6 months. Time is racing along and we really have to hold on tight to every waking moment if we're to get the most from our experiences out of the time we have left remaining. Our last breath could literally be just around the next corner, so seize the day.

I'm not one to dwell on morbid issues, but we all need a regular reality check to keep us focussed on living life. Too many are walking dead - daydreaming through the greatest moments of life. Too many are squandering their best years doing nothing worthwhile and regretful of what could have been - only becoming aware of the pending finale when it's too late to do anything about it. 

Grab Life

After a few too many drinks on Thursday, I clearly needed to get some quality rest and head home for a good night's sleep. But, after another full-on week of work, this was only possible for me after a few more drinks were had and some Friday fun. Friday, as a marker to the end of a working week, should be celebrated by everyone. All those who are healthy and able, should get out - raise a glass and toast the arrival of the weekend, the glory of summer, the good fortune of having someone to love, to be loved, to remind us of those who are with us no more, the ongoing pursuit of happiness, freedom and of being alive. 

Musical Memories

RAPPERS DELIGHT

Playing the role of DJ this weekend at my mum's 70th birthday, has highlighted again the importance of music for bringing everyone together at a party. 

The joy felt dancing to great music can transcend across all generations, no matter the era the sounds originated from. All forms of musical expression, ranging from 50's bebop, through to 60's pop, 70's disco, 80's New Romantics, 90's Indie, Rap, Rock, House & electronic contemporary tunes, can be mixed together to form the soundtrack of a memorably fun party. 

Understanding and appreciating the music from our older generations should be something passed down from our parents and grandparents. It's important for realising how we have all been youthful, carefree, vital beings and remind us that we are still those same people at heart, when the nostalgic tunes are played on a celebratory day. 

It needn't be just a party when the music lifts us. The inspiration is now available through so many channels that we can create playlists for all occasions. The greats of the past can be knitted together with the new, present and future generations to transport the music into the lives of our future generations. 

Positivity Indicators

ALL FOR GOOD MEASURE

Everything we do and say will have an impact on those around us. We need to bare this fact in mind as we all have a moral duty to do our best passing on positive impressions to others. Not only will this benefit how we feel, spreading good will, can have a knock on effect to improve everyone's day who we come in contact with. 

Positivity Footprint 

Just as we have measures for our carbon output, we should all have a daily check to see if our output on the world about us is making a positive footprint. 

Children are very impressionable and will pick up on both a positive or negative, so it pays to make sure we give out the best we can when around youngsters to ensure they learn how to treat others. But it's not only kids, family and loved ones who should benefit, we should also try to put out more good vibes in the workplace and even inspire complete strangers throughout our daily lives too. 

At the end of the day, it will all be to our greater benefit if we can put out more positive intentions. And if we aim to retain our positive levels in the 60%+ range, we'll see a marked improvement in our overall happiness over time. So, before sleeping each night, take a moment to reflect on the day and note down a tally of any positives deeds, interactions and actions made throughout the course of the day. See how they measure up against any negative aspects. Feel the satisfaction of knowing your actions are impacting others for the greater good, witness how easy sleep comes and then rise early the next day - feeling fresh and light in the soul, ready for another day full of positivity. 

Confidence Trick

RULES OF ATTRACTION

Having a strong presence will distinguish us from the others in a group. Be it for getting the desired table in a restaurant, winning the dream job or being successful in finding a life partner. Confidence reigns over all. 

Looking someone in the eye, having a firm handshake and speaking to everyone the same way - no matter their perceived social standing or supposed prominence of power - this is how we get noticed and win people over. 

Attraction is so much more than just a pretty/handsome face. Attraction oozes from the pores of those who have self respect, assured mind and no insecurity issues. 

So this weekend, rocking a Pink Panther face paint - I found my confidence. People gravitated towards me. I generated a lot of laughter. It was effortless fun and today I stand tall. Remember - it is of paramount importance how people remember their experience with you. So make yourself memorable for the right reasons. Confidence is not to be confused with arrogance. Self confidence needs a measure of humility thrown in the mix if we are to be liked. 

Anxiety Antics

WEEK WILLED

A week ago today, I was out with friends drinking copious amounts of alcohol on my birthday, which was the follow on session from the previous night's drinking and partying that didn't come to an end until late Tuesday night. 

The week that followed was a tough one. I've trodden these same boards before many times over and so I know what kind of challenges will be faced. But even with the knowledge, it's still hard living in these moments following a heavy session of late nights and over indulgence. The sleep quality is often very poor which makes matters even worse as the week goes on. Thoughts of self loathing, regret and anxiety will surface. Why do we do this to ourselves - what were we thinking staying out so late and partying so hard? We tell ourselves that we should know better at 44. Tsk tsk. 

In moments like these, we have to remember the laughter with friends, the dancing and carefree life experiences so recently enjoyed from the weekend. We need to be less hard on ourselves. We always knew this tough bit was coming up but still we struggle to be present in these drawn-out moments of tiredness alone with our naggy self-berating thoughts! Ultimately though, the tough bit will pass and we can be ready to do it all again pretty soon. 

Push Through

The key learning point here is to always push through with the yoga, exercise and hard work. Because, it's at challenging times like these that we grow stronger in mind, body and spirit. Getting the heart rate up, will help the liver and kidneys to flush the body and brain of spent sugars, plus the focus on exercise will distract the mind away from negative thoughts. If we stay occupied with our work, this often tricky period will come to pass a lot quicker. 

So, the mistake was that it took until Friday for me to take my first bit of exercise. I reluctantly booked a yoga class at the last minute. I was literally at my wits end when I dragged myself along. I sat in the class at the beginning feeling feeble, anxious and very self conscious about my inferior performance. I was so lacking compared to just a week before, because I'd allowed myself to get this way. It was a struggle - but mostly just in my mind. I'm so glad to have invested that 1.5hrs when I would sooner have gone home and crawled into bed, because the road to recovery has now started. I just wish I'd taken action sooner. I will not let this happen in the future!

Climbing The Impossible

We are all capable of so much more. The mind fools us into believing we are at our limit when there's so much more in our reach. Watching Meru this weekend, a film about climbing an impossible peak in the Himalayas, I'm shown how the mind plays tricks and where the strength of will can get us to accomplish seemingly impossible feats. If a man can climb a mountain merely months after a serious life-threatening accident, then push through to the top after suffering a stroke half way up the mountain - then I can surely achieve my meagre goals with a couple of small ailments. It's the will to succeed that gets us to try. Having the determination to push through and never giving up when the mind tells us we have reached our limit, is what brings the results.

Bank Holiday Birthday

ANOTHER WHEELY GOOD WEEKEND

Another memorable lost weekend. Abandon and Mayhem. But it seems that I'm not alone in having this experience. So many are doing the same thing on a bank holiday - getting blasted.

The only real learning I have taken from this weekend, is that I am having the same dilemma as so many other people do. It's either a weekend of staying away from potential trouble, or a weekend getting out there having fun, to better connect with others and celebrate being alive. 

The alternatives all seem pretty dull. Is it a quiet one in, walks in the park, DIY hell or are the kids needing to be entertained? The friends who are taken up with DIY or family priorities are clearly envious of those like me. No real responsibilities to deal with. The only resulting issues being a dent in the bank balance and of course, the fall out from all that partying always leaves us feeling a little bit rubbish for a few days.

The Need For Restraint

REINING IN

Another all-nighter. Another expensive and energy depleting weekend. Alcohol. It's the conduit for all bad things and it can be our undoing.

If I'm going to keep my energy levels topped up and make progress at work, with health and improve my capabilities - I'm going to have to rein myself in. Maybe it's leaving credit cards at home? Or maybe it requires avoidance altogether. Certainly, I can avoid the people that are my biggest corrupting influence. 

Let's see where I am next weekend on a birthday bank holiday...

Good Out - Good In

RESPECT

It's all about how you deal with people. If you treat people with respect, they will treat you the same. 

I am currently working on a project that involves dealing with different characters from a distance. They are all potentially great assets for completing a project that will take a lot of time and considerably more money if I let it get out of hand. 

The people I'm working with are also potential liabilities. The success of my project is all going to boil down to trust and respect. It's essential that I earn it first, if I am going to receive it.

To get what we want, we need to put in first. Give and receive. It's as simple as that.

Positive Results

WINNER TAKES IT ALL

Having two court cases this week, which had been hanging over me for a considerable time, I now feel free and happy after receiving a positive result. 

What I've learned about this whole episode, is that being constantly pent up in my daily fight against the system, my mood has been affected over a long period of time, which in turn, has affected those around me, hampering my self development in the process. 

It's tough being kind, compassionate and humble. You can get taken advantage of. So we can all try to be as good as we can but there is still a need for being tough, stubborn and forceful if we are to be successful in life. It would be nice if we could all be more trustworthy, considerate and decent, but it's just not possible when there's so many people out their to potentially ruin our chances of success. 

It's not all been bad. I have now learned to be clearer with the laws, got better at understanding them and how/when to fight them. Magistrates are just people at the end of the day but they still have to follow the laws that are in place. Knowing the laws and our rights, gives us a clear advantage, but ultimately, it's how well we come across on the day that matters. Standing up to say your piece is better than having a legal representative do it in my opinion - provided we can communicate without showing any emotion or anger towards the magistrates or court staff.  

Another learning from this period, is that the post office are not to be relied upon. There's ways to safeguard against losing letters is to record how the mail is sent. Taking a photo of a letter as it's being handed to a clerk in the post office and getting a send receipt, are all free. This doesn't guarantee the letter will arrive at the other end - but will be a suitable defence against any governing bodies that may question if post has been sent to them. There'll be GPS for location, date stamp and clerk for evidence.

Ultimately, I've learned to follow my own path, make my own judgements by using my head to determine if something is worth fighting for. So-called experts are just people who have information and experience from something that has already passed. Circumstances and events differ in all manner of ways. Therefore, no two situations can be identical. So, being told that acquiring further evidence on this particular occasion would just have been a waste of time, because a foregone decision had already been reached on one piece of 'proof' - this only helped spur me on to find out more. And on this occasion, against all the odds, I've become a winner against the system, learned some new skills and moved forward in my personal development. 

My next post will be on how to beat the system so others may benefit too. 

Last One Standing

PARTY PEOPLE

We are widely accepted in our circle of friends, as the good time crew. That means we are often out partying, drinking and having late nights. 

As we turn 40, the body's ability to repair itself after stress, diminishes. We need to eat well, get good rest and avoid too much of the things that will age us. Alcohol and other toxic substances, taken in excess, will deplete the energy reserves. That's why yoga and exercise are key to maintain health.

It's essential to get some exercise every day. This can be something as gentle as a walk at lunch time. My current routine already has at least a few minutes of walking per day, but to continue as the good time crew, it's going to take a lot more than that. This is where the daily morning yoga starting tomorrow is going to bring the greatest results!

The only other option, is to try moderation....something I'm still very much learning to master and will be my focus in 2016.